Friday Night Plans

This may be my most vulnerable post yet…

I’m 28 years old. I’m looking to be in a relationship AND I truly enjoy life on my own. Another person does not live in my house. Sometimes I cry about that. Sometimes I love that. Tonight I cried about it. And what’s the definition of insanity…doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? Well, that’s what I’ve been doing when it comes to my love life. Or lack of one, I guess. Sitting at home, investing in myself and connecting to myself emotionally. Which is great and necessary. But I’m at the point where doing it almost every single night is getting old. So I decided to document going out tonight.

So here I now sit, typing at Mystic Picnic with a glass of wine. Maybe because I’ve always wanted to come to this wine and whiskey bar. And maybe because I heard of one woman who was single and continued to go out by herself and just drink a glass of wine and now she’s dating someone she met there. And maybe I came here only to document coming here. Honestly, all of those reasons are why I’m here now.

I felt really anxious coming to a new place with high expectations. And then I remembered that I don’t have to have high expectations. Simply coming here, on my own, experiencing the vibe, and not being home alone is progress. It’s doing something different than what I’ve always done.

(Also, I think there’s a whole other section to this bar, but it’s around a corner and I’m scared to go find out.) But I’m here!

It’s like a whole mind battle. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m an introvert and being with other people I don’t know is NOT restorative for me (it’s really the opposite). But the idea of sitting at home alone tonight made me want to cry and made me feel like I was missing out on life. And instead, I will end tonight with another blog post completed and checking this restaurant off of my “things-I-want-to-try” list.

If you have any tips on ways to not spend every night alone, drop them in the comments! Or send me a DM on Instagram. I need all the help I can get on starting to do something different.