Valentine’s Day
My parents gave us a Valentine’s present every year. My sister and I would get a stuffed animal with some chocolates from Mom and a Hershey kiss trail to a bouquet of roses from Dad. Valentine’s Day was a day to be celebrated. Even now that my sister and I are out of the house, the tradition continues. Dad still finds a way to get the roses to me, and Mom has replaced the stuffed animals with foot rubs. This year, Mom even got Maya a Valentine. The cutest pink hoodie and a stuffed animal of her own. Welcome to the Valentine’s Day traditions, Maya.
All of this to say, I learned that Valentine’s Day is not a day to be avoided. It’s a day to feel loved. That’s it. I’m not disqualified because I’m single. On the day of, most people are celebrating their significant other. So when I say that Valentine’s Day is a day of self care for me, I don’t feel like that’s selfish. Because I’m the only one I got in this condo. And think about it: as adults, we have to keep ourselves alive plus any dependents. We’re constantly checking to ensure we’re relatively within the social norms. We go to work to pay our bills, live for the too-short weekends, and the cycle never stops. Deeper than that, we are humans trying to find ourselves in a world that, more often than not, tells us to shove our true selves aside. Be who people expect, not who you are. We experience heartbreak seemingly more often than joy. So when I say Valentine’s Day is a day to love on yourself, can we agree that sounds a little less selfish now? We are all human trying to make it in this cut-throat world. And a little love would help us all make it to another day a little more okay.
When Valentine’s Day is a week day, I still go to work like every other normal person. But that evening, while most people are out wining and dining, I’m home. Cozy and comfortable and enjoying my night. Here are my go-to’s:
Cook a meal that just sounds yummy (and doesn’t take terribly long)
Drink a glass of some good red wine
Take a hot shower and cozy up in clean PJs
Watch a feel-good movie
Go to bed before 10
This year will look a bit different since I have Maya. She’ll get a fun day at doggy day care and a sweet treat for after dinner. And of course, cuddles with Mama, which is more likely a gift for me than her.
If you’re out there and feeling lonely today, you are not alone. Yes, I try to take care of myself on Valentine’s Day, but underneath that is a lot of lonely and feeling like I’m missing out. Since we can’t magically change being single or being without someone we love though, we can take action and do some things that we love. So here’s the nudge you needed to choose to do some of your favorite things today. Just for you and not for anyone else.