Finding the Good Parts
My Confession
I’ve been feeling sad lately. I’ve been a bit frustrated with myself for not measuring up to who I think I should be. Sadness and frustration are very valid emotions. But I’m starting to feel like I’m in a rut, stuck with those emotions. As I sat down to finish editing the below words, I realized that a healthier version of me a few months ago was giving me a nudge in how I can get out of this funk. Or maybe at least, how I can keep going while sometimes feeling in a funk.
My Reflection
Saturday mornings are my favorite. I get to sit, journal, and read my Bible without the pressure to be anywhere afterwards. One morning, before last Christmas, I settled into my oversized chair. And then, I paused. Holding my coffee, I looked around at my condo. Christmas decor and cozy lamps, Maya sleeping next to me, the lopsided pillow on the couch from all the times Maya’s curled up on it, and dog toys piled in a corner (because apparently the toy basket was also now a toy). It wasn’t a picture of a perfect home ready for a designer magazine. There were bits and pieces of perfect next to imperfect. And yet the imperfection was proof that we lived well in this place. I may not have everything I want, but I have a really good life. A life that I actually like. Physical evidence of God’s goodness exists in my home, my people, and my dog. As I sit here trying to understand that feeling in that paused moment, I think it was just PEACE.
The view in my condo from the paused moment. And yes, that’s the Hallmark Yule Log channel on the TV.
My Determination
There undoubtedly are other times in my life when I miss someone terribly, feel really lonely, and looking around at what I do have doesn’t fill that void. That’s okay, too. We’re allowed to have both feelings of sadness and loneliness with peace and happiness all at the same time or one after the other. Not having one thing that I really want is painfully hard. But I have other things that I’ve wanted. The existing doesn’t substitute the missing, but it IS proof that life isn’t all bad and terrible and painful. Good parts still exist. And maybe, some of those good parts are hiding, yet are completely accessible. It’s up to us to get out there and find them. Discover a new passion or dust off an old one. Mine lately have been puzzles and cooking. Maybe it’s reading or traveling for you. Or something not popular at all but it really brings you joy. Go find it. Go do it.
Finding joy and making time for it brings more meaning to my life, even though I don’t have everything I want yet. Yes, sometimes, it’s just easier to sit down, binge your favorite show with your favorite chips and drink, and throw a world’s best pity party for yourself. And there are times when that is okay and very normal. But maybe one time, instead of the pity party, pull out the puzzle. Take the initiative to put joy into your own life. (Don’t worry, you can still feel sad while you do your puzzle.) Somehow, giving life a little push back makes me feel better. Life isn’t all bad. It’s also not all good. Just like when I looked around that Saturday morning. Nothing grand or terrible was in my little condo. It was just the pieces that made up my life.
Back to my funky mood, I’ll take my own advice tonight. I’m mentally too tired for a puzzle, but I think instead, I’ll watch my favorite show and write an encouraging quote in calligraphy. That sounds restful and happy to me.
P.S. I’d love to hear what your go-to restful and happy things are! Click here to let me know!